


Forgive Us Our Transgressions

by Ellisaed



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Era, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Levi/Petra Ral, Minor Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager, Mystery, Rape, Rape Aftermath
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-22
Updated: 2014-11-21
Packaged: 2018-02-22 03:02:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2492087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellisaed/pseuds/Ellisaed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A vile sin of physical assault has been committed within the Survey Corps, and to one of humanity's strongest: Mikasa Ackerman. The Levi Squad are responsible for rooting out the enemy from within, and the former members of the 104th Trainee Squad are the prime suspects - including Eren Yeager.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sheep in Wolves Clothing

The sky was shaded a dark, critical grey. A misty rain swirled whipped around and stung on any exposed skin. The cries of the wind were the only sound - besides for the eerily familiar THUMP, THUMP rumbling below: the sound of an approaching Titan. Eren Yeager stood on the slanted rooftop, gripping the handle of his unsheathed blade tightly, waiting for the creature to come into view. Sweat beaded on his forehead, but he ignored it. He glanced to his left, where stood his sister, staring off into the distance with that look in her eyes he knew well. Dark and ominous like swirling black ink, glimmering a bit with a fierce determination. Her red scarf fluttered in the wind.

"Mikasa." Eren said, "Don't move. I'll take this one."

He knew she would not want to leave him alone in a fight, but he wanted to kill one on his own. He was always standing in her shadow, victim to her devoted protection. That wasn't how a good soldier was made. He needed to fight for himself. Eren turned his head when Mikasa made no protest. Still stiffened in the spot, she did not but flinch at the sound of his voice. She was usually attuned to his every noise. _What is she doing?_

Eren said louder, "Mikasa!" He moved toward her slowly, seeing that her skin was pale - paler than usual. "Mikasa - what the hell -!"

Her eyes looked dead suddenly, and like a frail child she collapsed onto the roof with nothing but a whisper of sound.

Eren ran to her, cradling her shoulders, "Mikasa! Wake up!" He didn't understand. There was no blood, no trauma, no missing limbs, no sign of struggle or pain. It was as if she was being killed silently, from the inside out. Eren brushed black hair from shrouding her face . . . and held his breath. He was almost angered by the calm expression on her face, that familiar and terrible look of death. She couldn't just leave him like this . . . not like this. He patted her face gently, her skin cold and stiff. It was then when his heart raced: when he realized hers wasn't beating at all.

"Mikasa!" Eren screamed to her, shaking her hard, refusing to believe he held onto a body and not his living sister, "Dammit Mikasa wake up! Mikasa -"

A sort of deep, rumbling vibration ran through Eren's veins. The air was hot and thick suddenly, sickeningly scented. A shadow covered them like a suffocating blanket. Eren looked up to the Titan looming above - It was himself.

* * *

  _Survey Corps Head Quarters - 1:00_

"Eren! Wake up!"

Eren was finally thrown back into consciousness. He sat up with a start, hands gripped around his bedsheets in a death hold. The sweat on his body was sticky and hot. The feeling of hard wood beneath him told him he wasn't even on his bed anymore. The voice that had awoken him, the tone quiet and embedded with gentle inflections his brain had come to recognize, was Armin. Eren looked to the figure sitting beside him on the ground, blonde hair unkempt from sleep. Leave it to Armin to sneak up on him in the darkness.

"Armin, what the hell?" Eren protested, blinking awake blearily as fragments of his dreams slipped away from him. By the way his heart raced, it must have been a bad one.

"Sorry, but you were sleep walking again. You were crying out, and . . . I couldn't get you awake." Armin whispered, "You must have been having a nightmare or something."

Eren rubbed his eyes, not replying. He wasn't particularly proud of the fact that he was still plagued with nightmares of Titans, even then after being eaten by one. His own flesh was now like theirs, his heart beat the same kind of blood. He didn't like to think about it. Many of his nightmares, and sleep walking incidents, were forgotten mere moments after regaining consciousness, much to Eren's frustration. But maybe that was a good thing.

Armin still stared at him, quietly sitting. Eren waited a moment, and when he didn't say anything he retorted, "Go back to your room. I'm fine."

Armin nodded, but he didn't move. His small hands wrung around each other tightly. Annoyed, Eren tore his covers off and shouted, "Armin, what's your problem - "

Then he realized. The blue eyes of his best friend, which were illuminated only by the faint light streaming through his curtains, were glossy. Armin was . . . crying. Eren blinked, a sickening feeling finding his stomach. He knew Armin was emotional; he always had that look in his eyes, like he could burst into tears at any moment, since he was a kid. Back when Eren would come to his rescue from the jerks on their street, picking him up off the ground and sometimes giving him a hug of reassurance. The look had gotten worse as they had been witness to more and more terror, the faded blue innocence being replaced by dulled, dark knowledge. But then . . . there was something darker in them, hidden behind the shadowed glaze that covered them.

"Armin . . . what's wrong?"

Armin stuttered, his lips trembling though he tried to stop them. "E-Eren . . "

"What happened?!" Eren swore he would shake him if he kept this up. A hand covering his mouth, Armin's eyes grew wider, and two tears escaped down his cheeks.

"Armin tell me what's wrong dammit, I can't help if you just sit there and cry!"

"It's Mikasa!" Armin almost shouted. His shoulders shuddered, though no sound escaped him, through a few nervous sobs.

Eren gasped. What kind of trouble had she gotten herself into? For some reason his mind automatically imagined the worse, and he instantly felt like it must have been his fault - that was Mikasa. It was always for him. Always. Seeing that Armin was still clearly upset, Eren took in a slow breath and stifled his worry for a moment.

". . . Armin." He whispered, reaching his arms out and placing each of his hands firmly on his friend's shoulders. Armin looked up, the tears in his eyes glimmering faintly. "Calm down. Tell me Armin. What happened to Mikasa?"

"She . . . s-she . . ." Armin sniffed, his chin falling to his chest as if ashamed. The next words from his lips were barely audible, but they screamed into Eren's ears and burrowed in his brain like a parasite, numbing his senses. "Mikasa . . . was attacked. She was nearly killed."

The dust wandering through the faint moonlight from his window suddenly became the only thing Eren focused on. The quiet of the room, the slivering wood beneath his bare feet. He felt so aware and so numbed all at once. _Mikasa_. Eren saw her suddenly, the fierce fury in her eyes, a knife clutched in her small pale fist, piercing the body of the assailant who had gripped him by the neck and nearly chocked the life out of him. That image of a frail little girl with the heart of a raging thunderstorm and the bravery of a battle-hardened soldier. That night, so many years ago, had been the lasting proof to him that he didn't have to worry about her. Mikasa had always held her own, and then some - meaning him, as well as Armin. That brute display of strength was balanced off by an almost unnatural calm and devotion towards him; it was still a wonder to Eren how he had put up with her all these years. She had his back, whether he liked it that way or not. How had she let this happen? There was no way she could have let someone attack her and survive . . .

"Captain Erwin told me . . . it was someone from the Survey Corps." Armin said, wiping his eyes. "Someone we know."

Eren noticed he had been staring, and looked back to Armin. A strange feeling came over him, "Where is she?"

"They've called a doctor to look her over - "

Eren stood up, going for the door without hesitation.

"Eren, wait!"

"For what? Mikasa is hurt and you think sitting around and crying about it is going to help?"

"Erwin said she needs space, she's not even conscious - "

"Then I'll wait until she wakes up." Eren grabbed his jacket, throwing it on before opening his door.

"I can't let you go see her!" A hand grabbed his shoulder, gentle but firm at the same time. Eren turned and in one motion tore it off, pushing back against the wrist and shoving the body hard to the floor. It happened so fast. Armin stared up at him.

"Will you quit acting like a pathetic wimp?! Get the hell off me!"

"Eren, you don't understand - "

"Understand what?!"

"Mikasa was raped."

Eren froze.

"Until we find out who did it . . . we are all suspects. Including you."

* * *

_Survey Corps Head Quarters - 9:00_

Commander Petra entered the room, with a marked expression of resolve. As calm as she moved, as soothing as she stood before the crowd of young men and women, as assuring as her eyes were, it did nothing. The youth were restless. They had been woken before dawn and assembled since then. All scheduled training had been cancelled for the day. They had not been served a morning meal. Petra folded her arms, searching over the tense faces seated amongst the large dining hall. There was not one she could find that was calm.

The sense of horror that had filled her upon Corporal Levi telling her the news of the attack within their own walls - human to human - had died down. A few hours ago, when Levi had informed the Special Ops Squad of the development, they had been furious. Never in a hundred years did any of her fellow comrades ever impose a hint of threatening nature; they all had a mutual understanding of duty and honour that they knew that had to uphold, as soldiers. To even think about crossing that line . . . was a sin in itself. And this grievous act had been done amongst them? But as Petra searched each of the faces, each pair of wandering eyes, each head bowed in anxiety, that feeling of horror changed. She felt sorrow. They were just children, and some more than others. They had just gotten used to the awkwardness of growth and emotions that came along with their age; barely any of them even had facial hair. They had gone through hell and had emerged intact, which was a praiseworthy accomplishment that most higher ups in the Survey Corps couldn't brag. But they were only children.

That being said, the Squad had to approach the predicament carefully. With lengthy discussion, a plan had been devised of dealing with the situation quickly - with hopeful results. Petra knew the youth could sense the trouble.

"Can you blame them?"

Petra turned, seeing Levi enter the room and stroll toward her. His own gaze stared coldly to the murmuring crowd, and she couldn't read his eyes. They looked darker than usual. "Blame them for what?"

"For being so nervous. For all they know, we could be telling them we found another Half-Breed Titan like Yeager." Levi squinted, "Who is here, speaking of which."

"All the cadets that may have known Mikasa are. We can't take any chances of rooting this problem out."

"An assailant isn't a weed, Petra. You know that." Levi gave her a sidelong glance. "Plucking them out of the crowd is going to take much more than a motivational speech. Believe me."

Petra didn't resent his tone, though it was accusatory, "It's a start. It will, at the least, calm them down. If they don't stop babbling about it to each other, soon it'll be a rumour outside of HQ. Then we'll have a much bigger problem on our hands."

Levi crossed his arms, giving one quick nod. When he was mad, he sure as hell let you know. When he was pleased, it was as faint as a whisper. Riot prevention had been taken care of, for each member of the Special Ops Squad was positioned throughout the room, monitoring the cadets. Eld and Gunther held the rear of the room, glancing about every so often. Oluo, who had personally expressed his desire not to be part of this at all, chewed his fingernails off in a corner. They all looked impatient, but Levi, out of all the members of the Squad, was the one most upset by their current situation. They were trying to fight against the enemy of humanity - and now, humans were turning their backs on each other? He was disgusted.

"Get started. I don't want this to take all day." Levi barked, turning on his heels to sit on the chair pushed off into the corner.

Petra strolled closer to the rows of tables, every voice softening at her approach. It was quickly silent. She took a quick breath, clasping her hands behind her back. "Scouts of the Survey Corps. You have been summoned here this morning on behalf of the members of Special Ops Squad to inform you of an incident that took place last night between 21:00 and 3:00 hours."

Petra ensured all eyes were on her before continuing, "Mikasa Ackerman has been assaulted within Head Quarters, and remains in critical condition."

The murmurs returned then. Petra spotted a figure rise in protest, but get pulled back to their seat; it was Yeager. Armin Arlert was the one holding him back. She saw Jean Kirschtein also shift restlessly in his place with a _sotto voce_ "what the hell".

"I know this comes as a shock to most of you. I know some of you who are close to Mikasa have already been told. I know some of you who are not close to Mikasa are thinking that this situation somehow does not affect you — I suggest you think again."

What we are dealing with here is dire in many ways, the first of which being in the mutiny within the walls of a place where unity is our only option. Because of the defiance of one, the result is the persecution of all. If one brick crumbles and falls from the foundation, we in turn are weakened and left vulnerable. If this is not solved and patched up quickly, it is only a matter of time before our cause gets stomped out by the higher ups in Wall Sina. If word gets out of this incident we will be put to shame in the eyes of our king. God knows how he will see us as. What do you think he will see us as?"

Petra gave the question a noticeable harshness, letting it ring out around the tense room. "There is a sheep in wolves clothing in our midst. Whoever it was that committed this act is in danger of expulsion from the Survey Corps, or the penalty of death. You are all at danger now. We have been betrayed from among our own kind. And that, I believe, is the worst kind of evil we could witness."

The blankness on some faces was juxtaposed by tense determination on others. A buzzing of emotions brewed between them fiercely, as if each one were ready to implode from the assault. The reason Petra had been asked to make the statement was because she was not the kind of person to yell at the cadets. It even felt uncomfortable for her. But it put the message across - this was not something to sugar coat. This was deathly serious.

"Cadets; I do not mean to frighten you. I do not mean to show any less respect for you. The next path we take in rooting out our assailant requires the patience and the honesty of all of you. I have faith that you have not failed me in showing at least this much."

A few nods, though a great many of them still stared in shock.

"Our investigation will be headed by Captain Levi." Petra outstretched her arm in his direction, and at the cue Levi rose slowly, "He will be in charge of each personal interview conducted, as well as the organization of our task."

It was a different kind of silence that Captain Levi had always demanded that came over the youth in a sudden and strange wash. Petra herself even felt unnerved by the sudden change. Levi adjusted the white cravat around his neck, pacing one way and the other across the floor. Petra knew he was building the tension on purpose.

"I'll start with the obvious things that I'm sure you all must know. Mikasa Ackerman is our top cadet. She is agile, strong, cooperative and merciless: all aspects of a prime soldier. From what information she was able to tell us, even with these skills, she was unable to defend herself from her attacker. We must assume her assailant is capable as well."

The crowds mumbles picked up. Levi waited until they were quiet again, leaving the uncomfortable silence to ring for an extra few moments before going on.

"Ackerman's body was found in the basement of Head Quarters, unconscious. According to the doctor who examined her, she has suffered a concussion, a cracked rib, and a severe shoulder sprain amongst other minor lacerations and bruises. Along with this, Mikasa was raped."

The crowd of voices swelled in horror filled gasps. Petra felt her stomach drop again at the reiteration of the truth; it hurt her, every time, no matter what. She closed her eyes as Levi continued, unabashed. "Ackerman has informed us that she cannot recall who her attacker was, in detail. They did not speak, they did not openly show their face. The only specific she knows it that this harm was done to her by someone she knows personally."

This time, the cadets were infuriated. Accusing glares were passed around with a severity that stopped one in their tracks. Curses mingled with distrustful tones, words spoken with levels of resentment most reserved only for their sworn enemy - this was exactly what Levi had dreaded they would see. Subversion. Petra saw the look on his face. If Erwin hadn't told Levi to restrain himself that morning, she knew he would have already been personally handing out disciplinary blows.

When the chatter did not immediately die down, Levi gave a sharp whistle from between his teeth, "This will go a lot faster if you stop interrupting me and shut up. Because of the current information we have gathered so far, I am calling to personally interrogate the following cadets: Jean Kirschtein, Connie Springer, Armin Arlert, and Eren Yeager - "

"You have got to be kidding me!"

Petra shot her eyes in the direction of the exclamation, giving a signal to Erd to be ready to detain him.

Jean Kirschteit shoved his chair back and stood up, a kind of challenge his eyes commonly displayed - but rarely used when speaking to his commanding officer. "Just because we all trained in the same squad as Mikasa has no correlation to us being assailants! I'm not going to let my name be associated with a crime like this!"

"Jean . . ." A voice bit at him between clenched teeth; it was Connie Springer, his small form leaning toward him from the opposite side of the table, hazel eyes wide in concern.

Jean ignored him, like usual. "Eren is Mikasa's brother for god's sake!"

Jean flung a hand in Yeager's direction, who was clenching his fists so hard, Petra swore the whites of his knuckles could not get any more pale. Armin rested one of his hands just barely on Eren's shoulder. "The fact that any of us are accused makes me sick." Jean's stance was ready for a confrontation. His ego was spilled through his words, clearly showing defence for his pride. "If you think I'm going to sit here and get accused of something I did not do, you're sure as hell wrong!"

Despite the display, Levi hardly flinched. He really was in a good mood. "Kirschtein. One more word out of you and I'll see to it personally that you spend the rest of the day licking clean every single one of your comrades boot soles." Levi's voice cut like a razor, painful and sharp. "Sit. Down."

Jean needed no further instruction.

"Do any more of you brats feel the need to express your insignificant complaints?!" Levi barked. When he was met with silence, he scoffed, "I figured so. Along with these four cadets called to question, all remaining male cadets will be required to have a brief inspection following this meeting - this includes your sleep areas. You are to wear the uniform you were dressed in the night prior, and you are not to shower until you are cleared. All female cadets must return to their respective sleep areas and gather their belongings; until further instruction, you are being relocated to a central sleeping area for safety. Although an attack of similar nature is not expected . . . there is not point of us taking a chance. The final instruction I have to give is the most critical, and should be vowed to be obeyed. Rise and salute soldiers."

The youth stood in a heartbeat, amongst them the unison of clenched fists pounding against their chests. "No word of this is to be spoken. Not to anyone. Not to your fellow cadet. Not to your best friend. Unless demanded by a higher ranking officer, not to a higher ranking officer. Not even to yourself. If any trace of this incident is leaked our whole garrison is at risk of dissolve. I'm not letting everything I have put into this cause fall for nothing. I'm not letting the countless soldier's who died for this cause fall for nothing. This is a dark day for the Survey Corps, and you disgusting excuses for soldiers are the only ones to blame. Do yourselves a favour by not becoming disgusting excuses for former soldiers and keep this information unknown. Do I make myself clear?!"

"Yes sir!" The reply was firm.

"Don't think this is my favourite way to spend my morning - all because one of you little pricks couldn't keep your hands to yourself. It disgusts me. Corporal punishment will be enforced until we subdue the guilty: one meal a day, no training and no going outside. I'm sure one of you will get stir crazy enough to admit your sins."

The cunning, faint smile that played across Levi's lips was more frightening than any of his words.

"Dismissed."

* * *

 

Authors Note: **Hello readers! Thanks for checking out this fic! I've been in the AOT/SNK fandom for only a little while but it's taken my feels by storm, and this fix was born. I apologize for any discrepancies or mistakes I may have made regarding, since I'm still kind of new (please feel free to point them out!) I'm going to update this as soon as possible (hopefully in a few days) but meanwhile please tell me what you think! Also, copyright to the Anime/Manga authors and writers. No original credit to me! Thanks again!**


	2. No One to Hear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi hi! Thanks for reading and leaving feedback on the last chapter everyone, I really appreciate it! Now, I had a comment that suggested that the first chapter made a character very obviously the attacker, and I just want to say in a very subtle way to keep your eyes open . . . I can't really elaborate because I don't want to give anything important away. Just keep your eyes open.  
> Anyways, the next chapter will arrive within the week, hopefully in a few days if I can keep riding this wonderful train of writing motivation! Enjoy, readers! - Ellisaed :D

 

* * *

It had been a myriad of different sensations.

There was no thing definitive. It was like the artist of her mind had sketched a clear picture, which unconsciousness had smudged to beyond recognition. What someone else might do would be to simply erase the traumatic event from their mind while it was vague. Mikasa knew, however, it was her duty to pick apart each angle of the smudged picture in her mind and see shapes, make out clear forms amongst the vague blurs and piece the portrait back together.

She remembered two things clearly: before and after. But those things were not helpful.

Before, it had been past curfew and she had been out on her own, sitting out on the front steps of HQ with no reasoning behind the act. It cleared her mind to be outside in the cold. To see her breath and remember she was alive and how damn lucky that was. Her mind tormented her every second with the countless instances where death had whispered in her ear, and that was the fuel to her fire. She wondered how many times she would hear that dark voice pulling her down, down, into hell . . . and be able to crush it's skull and emerge victorious again.

It was not even for her own existence's sake that her drive was as persistent as it was. Mikasa was a slave to the life of Eren Yeager, and would be chained to him until his last breath. Even more so since his new title as humanity's last hope, as the saviour of their world. But she already had known that, from the moment she had seen him first scream his vengeance against the Titans back in Shiganshina. That stupid little boy who wanted nothing but to fight. It was in the cold darkness outside of HQ that Mikasa felt peaceful enough to not have him by her side for a while. Every so often she would turn her head and expect him to be there, though. In which she would pull up her scarf just a little, and rise to return inside.

Before, this was before. And before, it had felt like just another walk through the arched entry hall and down the dim staircase. Just another quiet passing through the empty dining hall, another look through the passageways to the sleeping areas, another trip down into the basement. It was where she stored her 3DM gear. She went down to the gear room every night, just like before. One less smudge on the picture.

That was before. And the after was what Mikasa was still enduring in.

* * *

_  Survey Corps HQ - Medical Ward - 7:00 _

Mikasa awoke.

The first breath she consciously breathed was cold and stale. She did not move her body but searched her eyes around the room she was in: it was morning by the pale sunlight casting through draw curtains. Across the room, she recognized the crest of the Survey Corps and the tied-back brunette hair - Squad Leader Hange Zoe. What was she doing in her room?

The next breath she consciously took was shadowed with pain, for her lungs were tight and unwilling to expand. A hand found her shoulder, gentle and small.

“Relax, cadet, don’t strain yourself."

Mikasa shifted, and caught the attention of the person sitting vigil beside her bed. Commander Petra. Her ginger hair spun as she turned away from her, eyes wide in what seemed like relief. She called out, “Captain Levi, she's come to.”

 _And Captain Levi?_ Mikasa had not noticed the man’s petite form leaning against the wall at the foot of her bed. He tilted his head in her direction, giving her a thin glance, “It’s about time."

The fact that three leaders of the Survey Corps were present in her bedroom made Mikasa confused, and she couldn't seem to focus. She closed her eyes, head pounding, trying to awake from the dream. _A stupid dream . . ._ that was still in front of her when she looked again.

At the commotion, Hange turned approached her bed quickly, smiling at her with wide eyes. "Mikasa! You're awake, thank god! That old hag doctor we have on site was attending to you but he was being so slow, so I took over for a while just to make sure you were really alive! I checked your vitals five times but you were asleep then so I should check them again!"

Hange sat beside her on the bed to take her pulse, pressing her fingers against her neck. Mikasa hissed, for they were cold and for some reason her skin was tender there, and she moved to push herself upright against the mattress. Jolts of pain shot from her arm as she did so, and she fell back onto the bed again.

"Leave her,” Levi scolded, moving and pulling Hange back by her jacket collar as if she were a disobedient dog, "Can't you see she's still confused?”

“Heichou, stop, she must lie still! Her shoulder is not properly set!” The woman protested, wrenching in Levi’s unrelenting grip. Even though she was nearly twice his height he overpowered her somehow. “You must let me examine her injuries again, please please _please_ \- “

“We need to talk to her first - “

“This is important! The doctor said her health is in my hands!”

“It won’t be if your head is up your ass - "

“Please, Hange, can we first have a moment?” Petra smiled softly to her. 

Hange looked flustered and reluctant, but she gave a nod, "Oh fine, _fine_! As long as she doesn't strain herself or hyperventilate or - "

"Wait outside." Levi, still gripping Hange's jacket, flung her in the direction of the door. Hange groaned, knowing Levi's orders were indisputable, face sinking into a deep scowl as she trudged out the door. After the door closed softly, Mikasa glanced from the blank face of Captain Levi and back to Commander Petra. She couldn't read their intent. She narrowed her eyes in impatience and frustration; why wasn’t anyone telling her what was going on?

"Good morning Mikasa." Petra gave the girl a smile. Her eyes had softened this time, hinting something hidden. “I know you must be in shock. I'm sorry. You are in one of the medical rooms on the upper floors of HQ. You're safe here."

". . . I'm sorry, Commander." Mikasa whispered. Her voice did not sound like her own. "What do you mean . . . safe?"

Petra pursed her lips together. She exchanged a glance with her Captain, fleeting but filled with uncertainty.

"Mikasa . . . do you remember what happened last night?"

Mikasa hated how her heart leapt to her throat at the words. Her mind raced, reaching for pieces of memories that were not in reach, hovering above her recollection. The subtle ache in her head made it hard, and she did not have time to try and recall. When she could not immediately remember, her mind imagined the worst.

“Where’s Eren? Is he safe?” Mikasa demanded, moving her body fully upright then despite the pain, “Did he transform - “

“No, Eren is fine,” Petra held out her hand, “Lie still. You’re injured.”

Mikasa turned her head, realization coming over her. The pain she felt originated from her left shoulder that was bandaged in place, and she trembled from the discomfort she had unknowingly awakened. She moved a hand to her neck, which must have been bruised by the distinct tenderness. Yes, she recognized the feeling . . . it was just like she felt after a battle. But who had she been fighting?

She looked back at her superiors angrily, knowing full well there was something they weren't telling her. “What’s happened to me!?”

Captain Levi spoke up before Petra had the chance, “Calm down. That’s what we are trying to figure out, so listen carefully. And don’t get yourself worked up, you've broken a couple of ribs. Understand?”

The stern tone he gave her did not calm her, but it warned her of the severity of his coming words. Mikasa pressed her lips closed and nodded once.

“What is the last moment of consciousness you can recall from yesterday evening?”

“. . . I was . . . returning my 3DM gear, before I went to sleep . . . that’s all."

Petra gave a sigh. Levi, however, hardly blinked.

“Your body was discovered by Armin Arlert approximately seven hours ago in the Lower Basement, near the gear room. You were lying on your stomach, bleeding profusely from the head. You were unconscious. You did not wear your 3DM gear, and your remaining clothing had been torn in several places by either a knife or a blade. You were immediately brought under medical care and examined thoroughly by a doctor. You suffered a concussion. We were unsure of how you came to be in this state, but we were told after your examination that you were attacked. The reason why we know this is because there was evidence of rape.”

Each word felt like a lie. No, it felt like a story, like the ones Armin would tell her and Eren when they were small. It sounded so real, it felt so real, she could see it and hear it and feel it . . . but she could not remember. Maybe that was why her heart picked up speed; she was not scared of the truth, but the fact that it had gone on without her knowing.

Mikasa did not feel herself trembling. She could only see it, staring down at the small, thin hands resting in her lap that shook like dead leaves. Were they her own? On them, there were blisters birthed from the handles of 3DMG. The knuckles were chafed from throwing blows. Under her fingernails, she noticed blood. They were the hands of someone who had fought back. Just not quite hard enough.

“We assume the attacker had been waiting for you, not searching you out. The Lower Basement is hardly lit and buried far enough that sound can't be heard. Knowing you were removing your gear, they struck when you were weaponless. The bruises on your neck were cause by a human grip. There were traces of saliva found on your face, your neck, as well as - “

“Captain.” Petra silenced him. She sent him an ungrateful glare. He always had to be heartless in the worst possible times. Levi was characteristically forgetting the obvious boundaries of domestic conversation. Or rather, he was ignoring them.

“If we want her to remember she will need to hear this.” Levi said, matter-of-factly. Personally, he was disgusted with the details, but like many of his duties it was necessary to get his hands dirty in order to succeed. “Stop being sensitive."

“Are you really going to make her relive what happened?!”

“For the sake of information, I will do everything necessary to obtain it.”

"Captain?"

Levi gave her a side-long glance of acknowledgement. 

"I cannot remember anything." Mikasa admitted, "Everything . . . even now . . . is like a blur."

"These are side effects, coming from the concussion. The doctor said your memory could be hazy for the next few days." Petra soothed, "The memories will come back."

Levi gave a soft noise of agreement, "And when they do you are obliged to inform one of us immediately. 

"I am sorry."

The silence in the room responded to her words like a gasp; sudden and sharp. 

"I am sorry that I was weak. I am sorry that I still am. It is because of my inability to fight back that the Survey Corps have been compromised. For me to succumb to weakness in this circumstance is non-excusable." Mikasa glowered. "Do not dote on me, Captains. I promise you I will not let the traitor escape from my mind without me knowing."

Corporal Levi chuckled under his breath. The brat could prove she had guts, that was for sure. Even though he felt it was too early for heroics he silently praised Mikasa with a half-smile for her strength.

"I would only expect such from you, Ackerman." He muttered, "But you can't push yourself. From this point forward, you'll be kept here in medical until you recover, under constant watch. We are conducting several interviews of the other cadets, including members of the former 104th Squad, and for the time being you're not permitted . . . "

Levi's voice trailed off, unfinished. His brows knit together in a look that was almost concern. "Ackerman?"

Petra turned to the girl again, half expecting her to be giving her usual deathly glare.  

But Mikasa had gone pale like a porcelain doll. 

". . . Mikasa?" Petra tried, placing her hand on her arm and shaking gently. She was still as a corpse. 

Inside, however, her mind was on fire.

* * *

_The grip wrenched at her throat, twisting with her as she struggled. Every time she moved, it tightened. Spots danced in her eyes, but not enough to pull her into darkness._

_She thrashed, and her head was lifted and thrown against the floor with a hollow thump. Breathe, breathe, breathe, her mind demanded, but there was no way with the hand grasping her face. She tried to bite it, but her lips were in the way. Hot breaths smothered her, suffocating her even more. She screamed from within her trapped throat. It burned like hell._

_There was no one to hear her in the darkness._

_The hand left her mouth and groped down her body: breasts, stomach, belt. She jabbed a knee up, but it met no contact and was pushed away. The grip around her tightened. Breathe, breathe, breathe, her mind demanded, overpowering her own instincts to fight. She writhed, arms grabbing for hair, pulling, tearing, but her head was slammed against the ground again, dazing her. A voice spoke._

_". . . don't fight . . ."_

_She grew limper then._

* * *

When Petra had not been able to break through the girls trance, they had called for Hange immediately. She had been overjoyed at the development and had shooed them out the door into the hallway to wait as she ran vitals again. Even though it wasn't usually anything but Titans that excited her, Hange jumped at the chance to learn whatever she could about the human anatomy in order to assist her research. Hopefully she would stick to checking heartbeats and not go overboard. 

"Mikasa's probably slipped into shock." Petra whispered, "Doctor Burnhardt warned that if we pushed her, it might happen."

She bit her bottom lip, seeing that Levi had turned away to face the small window at the end of the hallway; his aversion to their situation was beginning to get on her nerves. "Don't worry about it, you're giving yourself wrinkles you know."

Petra squeaked in surprise at the comment, a hand finding her cheek self-consciously, "At least I wasn't the one who traumatized her for the second time today!"

"You know what I said was part of protocol," Levi nearly shouted. He was not angry, just annoyed. "Don't sit there on your high horse and pity her as if she is a child - she signed up for this shit."

"Forgive me if I don't remember 'sexual assault' being on the list of possibilities when joining the Survey Corps."

"Being a soldier means you sign up for every kind of evil this world throws at you. Sure, I'm not happy that this happened but it happened so we have to deal with it, and so does she. She said she can handle it."

As much as Petra wanted to protest, she knew her argument had little weight against his. Typical. Even this game of "good cop, bad cop" had worked out in his favour. Petra approached Levi from behind, standing just close enough not to touch him. She could see the tension in his shoulders, his hands clasped behind his back. Petra would have offered to give him a massage, like she usually did, but this was not the time or place for that. 

"You are worried about her, aren't you." It wasn't phrased as a question, because it was something Petra could sense. "Even though you won't let her see it."

Levi rolled his eyes, "I'm not worried. Unlike you, I'm careful to not play into her obvious weakness at this point. It will be stroke of luck if she manages to remember anything from the attack besides for a few snippets of memory. But I'm not going to tell her that."

"So you are saying if we make it appear that she is strong, then she is strong."

"She is strong, Petra." Levi said firmly. "I don't know if you've taken a look at Ackerman's file but she's been through a hell of a lot worse than this. Strength comes from ignoring your obvious weaknesses."

"But she has been weakened again. How long can someone be strong when their weaknesses outweigh their strength?"

Levi did not have the chance to answer. The unmistakable laughter of Hange could be heard even before door behind them flew open with a crash. She ran over to the two and grabbed their hands, pulling them back inside, "We've made a development! Hurry, hurry before it's gone -"

"Let go of me four-eyes, your hands are filthy!"

"Ow, Hange, you're squeezing me - "

Hange pushed them into the room, and after they caught their balance - and Levi adjusted his sleeves - they were face to face with Mikasa again. 

"I remember something."

Mikasa's voice was low and soft. Like a whisper of smoke, the glaze over her was gone. It was replaced by something that could have been fear. Fear, from one of the strongest soldiers humanity had been gifted with. 

When the next words left her, Levi shifted and threw Petra a glare of deep vehemence.   

"I knew him."


	3. No Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before the interrogations begin, Armin makes an accusation that his friends can't ignore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have much to say about this one other than I hope you enjoy it! And just to note, this takes place on the night after Mikasa's attack; all of the chapters now have times when the scenes occurred, since it jumps frequently.

_Survey Corps HQ - 21:00_

* * *

 

Armin Arlert had always been an introvert. He still remembered his mother telling him stories, about himself, when he was younger. She would sit him in her lap out on the hard stone steps leading up to their small home and tell him stories. She had always been a storyteller, and he had always longed to listen. _When you were inside me_ , she had said, _you never once kicked me or fluttered in my womb. You were always still. I worried often for you, but your father assured me that you were only quiet. The day you were born, you did not even let out a cry,_ she whispered into his ear, taking one of his small hands in her own _, you looked about, like a frightened kitten, clutching onto my finger, trembling in my arms. But when I held you close_ , she would have hugged him then, _you slept peacefully._

Armin knew he had come a long way from the fragility of being an infant, but if felt those characteristics still lingered with him at times: weakness, helplessness, fear. He was not sure why the memory came to him then, but it only served as a reminder to those traits. Frankly, they were attributes that he hated about himself. He knew, at crucial moments, they could very well be his downfall. It seemed like one of those times was finally upon him. Jean Kirschtein, Conne Springer, Eren Jäger and himself seemed equally innocent in the accusation of assault against Mikasa Ackerman, but at the same time equally untrustworthy. Armin knew that every aspect, every intention, every word they said would be thoroughly and mercilessly examined by Captain Levi. The thing that Armin feared the most was that his attributable silence would hint at withholding information. Even with his own life on the line, still, there was an absence of courage in him to speak up.

Armin sat closest to the bars of the cell, only a breath away from the guards monitoring them. It gave him comfort to be near escape. All four of them had been confined in the lower basement of Head Quarters. The cell was nothing out of the ordinary - damp, cold, dark, quiet - but the atmosphere reflected each of their tense emotions, and it felt more like a four-by-four space than twelve-by-twelve. Of course, since they were only suspects and not criminals - yet - there really was little reason why they were being held in a cell. Most of the decision to do so came from the fear of Eren's emotional state.

Though the other three cadets had moved impatiently around various parts of the room over the past two hours of waiting, Eren was the most skittish. He had not stopped pacing since the key had been turned, his dulled green eyes bright as if he were in battle. Armin wished Eren would calm down, but he knew his friend was not in the mindset to listen to rationality. He had to work off his steam.

The Senior Survey Corps members claimed that they feared he would spontaneously transform due to his heightened emotional state. Armin knew a prison cell was as flimsy as a dead leaf compared to the mass of a Titan (as did those who put Eren here), and the gesture was pointless for that purpose. The most logical reason, Armin deduced, was that it was a interrogation tactic. Lance Corporal Levi most likely wanted them to get a sense of what they were in for if they were the culprit. He wanted to stress them out, to confine them and pressure them and guilt trip them to get the truth out. By the strained looks on each of his friends faces, Armin knew it was beginning to work.

“What the _hell_ is Levi doing.” The irritated tone that Jean used cut the quiet around them. No one had spoken a word until them. He stood with his shoulder leaning against the rough brick wall, brown hair hanging over his eyes and hiding their contempt.

Connie, who sat in the corner, shrugged, continuing to pick at his boot soles with the downcast look that he usually held. “Sharpening his blades I bet. So he can cut us up and eat us for this.”

“I can’t believe I’m even here,” Jean complained, though it was not his former genuine whines like when he was a cadet. Nowadays, his protests were usually out of annoyance, “I can’t believe this even happened. What a dick head. Some people said you found out about it first, huh Armin?”

Armin flinched, looking back at Jean for a moment. He gave a slow nod.

“Yeah,” He managed to whisper in reply, not wanting to attract the guards attention. He did not really want to talk about it, either.

"Why'd you get the privilege?"

The word _privilege_ bothered him, but Armin hesitated to reply. He wasn't sure if he should tell the truth, or avoid it.

"I . . . don't think I should say."

Jean was eager enough to know, and not in a friendly way by his tone. He was only trying to get the facts, not in the mood to play psychiatrist with the blonde. He waited only a half-second before prodding again, "Come on, it's not a secret is it?"

"I suppose not - "

"Then how you find out?"

"I . . . I was the one who found her.”

“Jesus, really? How bad was she?”

“. . . pretty bad.”

Armin knew he was understating the matter greatly, and it almost felt like lying. But it comforted him a little, which he again felt guilty for. The sight itself had not been new. Armin had been witness to more than his liking of his comrades bodies in battle. Incoherent masses of once flesh, the stray limb dangling from tangled 3DM gear, the scarlet stain of blood on his hands. Literally.

He had almost grown numb to the horror of it. It was not that fact that had unnerved him. He had never seen Mikasa physically hurt. Ever. And the image haunted him. If he concentrated hard enough he could will the image of Mikasa’s body away, ignoring the blood that had pooled from her raven black hair like a morbid halo, the bruises that had blared on her pale skin, the unnatural sprawl the limbs had been frozen in. If he told himself is was not that bad, he was almost able to shut out the image.

Almost.

It unnerved him in more ways than one. Not only would the attack scar Mikasa and the rest of the cadets, but it blotted a taint on the Recon Corps in general. The Military Police already considered the group as a bunch of mindless suicidal soldiers - and something like this would not help their case. How would they ever gain the trust of the higher government if they couldn't control their own libido? Of course, Armin knew the thought was paranoid. It was only logical that an inner conflict ail them at some point, it was just a part of their odds.

I _'m overthinking this. It was only a matter of time that someone got restless. But Mikasa_ \- Armin flinched as the thought of her crossed his mind vividly again, gripping the bars of the cell harder. _Why her; of all people, why her?_

“Well, good luck to you Armin,” Connie retorted, breaking through Armin's thoughts, “Since you found her they’re going to let you off the hook - "

“Obviously they won’t, since we’re all here.” Jean cut Connie off sharply. “They’re holding her own brother against her. You can see where their trust lies.”

“Oh. Yeah. I guess you’re right.” Connie sighed heavily, but let out a sound of protest as Eren’s pacing wandered a bit and his leg was scuffed by Eren’s boot. “Ouch, watch it!”

It was a rather futile effort. Eren hadn’t slowed for the past two hours and it didn’t look like he was going to anytime.

Jean, who did not have time to begin to explain his list of grievances with the kid, was verging on a level of irritation that was painfully high. "Hey Jäger, you shouldn't be so freaked out.”

Armin looked over his shoulder, seeing Eren’s feet continue their unfaltering pace.

Jean scoffed a little when he didn't reply. "You've been in a cell like this a bunch of times. Are you anxious because there's no chains to hold you down anymore?"

"Shut up, Jean. He's already mad as it is."

"Or maybe it's because you can't get the thought of someone feeling up your precious Mikasa out of your head - "

The rough crunch of Eren's boots suddenly halting on the stone floor caught Armin's attention. He flicked his head around quickly, seeing Eren's form stiffen like a sculpture in the centre of the cell. He did not move.

"Jean, will you stop it?!" Connie said through clenched teeth, staring at Eren with wide eyes.

"I'm just kidding, smart ass, cool your head." Jean bit back at him, acting nonchalant about the trembling form in the middle of the room.

"Yeah well, maybe you shouldn't be."

Jean turned then, looking the shorter boy in the eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean that this isn't funny!" Connie replied, standing up and approaching Jean slowly.

"No duh, Springer. I'm not stupid!"

"Then quit acting like a total jerkwad and shut the hell up! Do you realize that one of us is going to be kicked out of the Survey Corps if we don't figure this out?!"

"It sure as hell is not going to be me, so I don't give a damn!"

"Repeating that doesn't make it true!”

One of the guards banged his heel on the bars of the cell, barking at them, “Quiet down in there!"

They had already done so. Armin felt a shiver of realization crawl over him sickeningly. They had started.

Jean looked incredulously down at Connie. His expression was genuinely shocked, as if he just heard the punchline to a crude joke. Fittingly, he chuckled softly. "Wait, are you . . . do you think it was me?"

Connie pursed his lips together, obviously on the fence about what to think. "Well . . . I don't know, you're acting pretty suspicious! Ask anyone, and you'd be on top of the list of the accusers. Everyone knows you were nursing a crush on Mikasa, a-and you probably had good intentions but just got carried away - "

"I trusted you . . ." Jean's voice was a stern calm, ". . . and now you're going to go lie through your teeth to save your own ass."

The silence was much worse than before, proof that a strand of friendship just snapped right before their eyes. Jean and Connie had grown nearly as close as brothers could be. Every mission, every battle, they played off of each other's strengths and weaknesses, they bickered constantly . . . and a part of that was . . . gone. Armin clutched one of the cell bars, trying not to be upset.

“I trusted you too, and now look at the mess you got us all in!”

"Oh, and you're making it all better by screaming accusations in my face! It really makes you look innocent, Connie!"

Armin breathed slowly, feeling his frustration rise. He had to stop this, he could not sit and hear his friends tear each other apart -

 

"You were being too quiet about it, you might as well just admit it and save us all time - "

“Springer, I will wring your neck if you accuse me of this one more time - “

“ _Guys_!"

Both Jean and Connie stopped, just inches from each others throats, turning toward the voice. Eren’s hands clenched reflexively into fists, as if instinctively ready for battle at the tone of Armin’s shout. The blonde stood up, breathing heavily like he had just run a mile. He stared back at the two sternly.

"Do you realize you're playing exactly into Captain Levi's tactics? If you keep on standing around and screaming at each other about who did what, you're going to go into your interrogation with a finger pointed at someone and get them falsely accused!"

The guard outside cleared his throat in warning, "I said shut up!"

Jean waited a moment before replying to Armin in a hoarse whisper, "Isn't the point of these stupid things to get someone to confess?"

"In this situation, the point is to find someone to blame. The Survey Corps have to blanket this whole incident before rumours spread, meaning they need an immediate solution. Do you really think Levi is going to spend all the time necessary on protocols to interrogate us?"

Jean scowled, but shifted his eyes away, "Then why are we even here?"

"That's exactly my point," Armin approached the two, putting a hand on the shorter boy's shoulder as he addressed him, "Connie: you don't know Mikasa all that well, and her combat skills and size are nearly doubled compared to yours. There's a slim chance you could have successfully subdued her."

Connie's face deepened in colour a little at the remark, shrugging Armin's hand off of him, "Hey! You don't have to rub it in!"

"Jean: you have the strength behind you to be able to take Mikasa down, for a short amount of time, but you lack her stamina and unpredictability; after some struggle, she would eventually play off of your weakness and manage to escape."

Jean rolled his eyes, "Sure, where's this going?"

"On the surface, it may appear like we are prime suspects: we know the victim, we're young and we're unpredictable. But even a simple-minded person can figure out that none of us could have possibly committed this offence."

Armin searched the faces of the two, and behind them he saw Eren's stiff figure turn to meet his eyes as well. It frightened him a little, that odd glint captured in his green eyes.

"Spit it out then," Jean demanded, folding his arms. "If it wasn't any of us, then who was it?"

Armin hesitated a moment, a quiet insecurity passing over him. He was not making any small accusation, but he knew better than anyone that when the facts lined up, as hard as it may be to believe, there had to be an answer.

"One of us is going to be framed for Lance Corporal Levi's crime."

"What?!"

All three flinched at Eren's near scream of protest. It broke out and rang around the tiny cell, awakening them all to his presence again. The brunette shoved Jean and Connie to stumbles as he passed them, rapidly approaching Armin with outstretched arms. Before he had the chance to move, Armin found himself slammed back against the cold bars of the cell, shoulders pinned by Eren's trembling grip.

"Are you out of your mind?!" Eren shouted, his alarmingly fast shift from his platonic to his hyperactive state still a few seconds behind Armin's awareness, "Why would you accuse Corporal of something like that?! He would be committing treason!"

"It's our only logical option! You know that none of us did this, and who else is there that could even come close to Mikasa like that -it only makes sense - "

"No it doesn't, and you know it!"

Armin thought his eyes were going to burst from his face, blinking at the words his friend spat to him. Each one was accompanied by a harsh shake, the back of his head making contact with the rusted metal with dull clangs. He was dimly aware of the guard outside the cell letting out a series of curses before sending someone running down the hallway towards the upper levels, all his attention fixed on the figure gripping him with cold hands.

" _Eren_ \- !"

"Stop trying to look at things with all of that stupid logic and open your eyes!" Eren's tone jumped an octave, heightened by emotion, "Stop telling stories, Armin - we're not kids anymore -"

"Jesus Christ, Jäger, get the hell off of him! You're going to break his neck!" Jean grabbed Eren's shoulder and ripped his hold from Armin, pushing him hard enough to cause his feet to give out beneath him. Eren tumbled back onto the hard floor, causing Connie to jump out of his way; the scowl he sent to Jean through the dimness blared brightly.

Jean was not there to receive it, half-heartedly at Armin's aid. He knew just how hard Eren was throwing him around, and how fragile the kid was. "You okay?"

Armin nodded back, rubbing the back of his head gently. The pain sprung tears to his eyes, though he knew his blurry vision was not from just that. He turned away from Jean, looking past him toward Eren again, still half-strewn across the floor in defeat. It was just the faint flickering light of a torch that allowed them to see, but it cast no shadows on his friends face. Eren met his eyes, unwavering.

Connie, not usually the sensitive one, picked up on this silent exchange. He looked back and forth from Eren to Armin, whispering hoarsely, "What is it? What just happened?"

Eren spoke up, "I did it."

Armin felt words fill his throat and settle in a lump, hanging there, waiting to be said. Just as before, just as when he was a child, he could not even let out a cry. That absence of courage in him felt like a gaping hole.

Jean shifted uncomfortably where he stood. He laughed nervously, "I thought we established this wasn't funny anymore - "

"Shut the hell up, Jean - I was the one who did it, okay?"

Armin heard the approaching footsteps just as the confession was being uttered, but he already figured who it was by the way Eren's words trailed off like a dying breath. Corporal Levi, shadowed by the guard previously watching their cell, scoffed his boots a few times before choosing a spot to stand on and face the four of them. Merely his presence suddenly added lead-weaight to every breath, an edge in the air.

"Someone said you brats are getting restless down here." Levi nearly yelled. The anger in the tone seemed forced, however. His eyes almost appeared to be amused, "I had a feeling it was time to get things going anyways - "

"You don't have to interview anyone." Eren spoke up. 

Armin let his eyes slip closed then. _Stop, stop!_ He wanted to scream. But he could not. 

"Enlighten me, Jäger." Levi took a slow step closer to the cell, just as Eren took a few forward toward the bars. "Why is that?"

" . . . I did it."

One of Armin's hands still gripped the cool bars of the cell, keeping him upright and hiding his inner tremors, bridging him between so far and so close to escape. There would be none, however. At least not for one of them.


	4. Cruel Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Levi interrogates Eren and Armin, the situation becomes much more complicated when a crucial confession is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: The chapter previous to this (Chapter 3 - No One to Hear) has been slightly altered, near the end of the chapter. It may be helpful to read this before proceeding, as there have been changes that will fit into the information in this chapter. 
> 
> As well, the use of italics on text denotes the text is a memory recalled by a character. There are two instances where this occurs and the content italicized is material from previous chapters, so it should be recognizable.

It had been a miracle that Armin Arlert had found Mikasa Ackerman's body.

Not only did he find her past curfew, but it was also in the quiet and often unvisited Lower Levels of HQ. It was an oddity that he had even gone down to the gear room when he had. It had been for a insignificant reason, one he could have left until daylight, but it had nagged at him as he lay in his bed and prodded him to action.

The previous day, their training exercise had been the perfection of evasive manoeuvres, held in a small wooded area a few kilometres into the outskirts surrounding HQ. The old headquarters building really was located in the middle of nowhere, which made training exercises simple to set up and run.

Geared up and eager to begin, their instructor had informed them that their first drill was to be directional manoeuvring; no sooner did he take off into the air, leading them through a pre-scouted, tightly knit maze of trees. While the rest of the cadets had done fairly well keeping up with their instructor, Armin had struggled more than usual. Every sharp turn they took, he was always a half-blink behind, and he had cursed and swung his body harder to compensate speed for precision. It had been hard for him from enrolment to maintain the same physical capabilities as his peers, and he had just begun thinking he was getting better. After a while, the extra strain was too much on him and he almost hit a tree head on; he had been forced to stop and catch his breath, red faced and upset. Eren, who always seemed to be at his aid when needed, had hung back from the group alongside him in reassurance.

_“You’ll get punished for leaving formation,” Armin said immediately, letting his hair cover his eyes._

_Eren ignored the comment, pushing his feet against the tree trunk to swing himself dangling closer to his friend, “It was probably just your cables sticking, especially since we’re moving so fast."_

Armin remembered the exact look in Eren’s eyes, a gentle consolation, and he sighed and fidgeted in his sheets again. At that moment, he hadn’t been in the mood for pity. He knew exactly what had happened. It was easy for someone who actually succeed to provide false consolation for his weakness. What he should have done was just nodded and caught up to the group. But, Armin remembered, Eren and him had not been getting along. This moment was simply the final tug against his match of patience; his spark was lit into a flame.

_“We can take a look at them when we get back to headquarters - “_

_Armin disattached a cable, bending his legs and propelling himself to attach to another tree. He heard the sound of protest follow him, and as he landed on the bough of the nearest tree a pair of boots came to rest behind him._

_“Armin, wait!"_

_"I can do it myself!" Armin turned around and shouted. The voice that was his own . . . did not sound as so. Eren flinched and stopped pursuing. The look of concern his face held turned, his mouth hardening to a line. "I can look after myself. I don't . . . I don't need your help."_

Armin threw his sheets off, sitting up and swinging his legs over the edge of his cot. It hurt, the remorse. He never snapped at anyone like he had, especially not Eren. He wished he could take back the words, the tone, the angry look on his face. But he couldn't.

He had been fed up with Eren, and he still was. It wasn't fair. After all this time of being concerned for Eren and have it rejected, to in return to see him show concern and be upset by rejection was more than frustrating. But in the back of his mind, the thought nagged.

Maybe it was his cables.

By the placement of the pinprick yellow moon hanging in his window, Armin knew it was well past curfew. It wasn't too late, however.

Armin rose and grabbed his jacket, heading down to the gear room.

* * *

 

_Survey Corps HQ - 23:00_

"Is that it, then?”

The boy looked up, jolted back to attention by the man’s voice. He met the steely gaze with his soft blue stare, which quivered though he was unaware. Corporal Levi raised one brow, slightly, at him. Armin swallowed.

“Pardon me, sir . . . can you repeat the question?”

“Is that everything that happened on the night of Mikasa’s assault? Everything you saw and did?”

“I . . . yes, sir. After I left my bunk I went down into the gear room, to check the cables of my ODM gear. That’s when I found her.”

“What time was this, approximately?”

“Around . . . two hundred hours, sir.”

“Funny.” The word was spoken without a hint of humour, "I’ve cross-referenced the hundred or so interviews I’ve conducted today with the rest of the cadets. A good portion of the testimonies say that no one heard any movement between the hours of one and three hundred hours. Not even in the sleep areas. Not even in the rooms directly across and beside yours."

Armin blinked, shifting in his chair, rubbing his hands together. Fidgeting.

“What’s more is that I’ve just been informed by those on security that the gear room is only accessible until midnight on a regular basis. Meaning the doors are locked past this time, and anyone who may be inside must have been there before midnight."

Armin nodded, innocently. On the inside, he felt like he was being pinned against the wall.

Corporal Levi stared back at him as if he were not sitting in the chair at all. As if the room was empty, and he were only a thin sheet of glass. The dark eyes looked both past and through him, all at once. There had always been something about the Corporals eyes, something hard to pinpoint. Armin realized what it was.

They always _knew_. It was as if a sixth sense resigned in them. In Armin's current position, he wished they would stop scrutinizing him.

The saucer of tea resting atop Levi's desk sat, ignored. The steam that had been drifting in greyish swirls above the cup had vanished long ago. The Corporal occasionally rested his fingers around the rim, as if he were to take a sip, but did not.

Armin watched as Levi again moved the saucer, one turn to the left, before folding his arms again.

It was only the young blond, the Captain and a handcuffed Eren Jäger that inhabited Levi's office at that moment, though mandatory guards kept watch outside. It had taken a while of persuasion - and possibly, a threat - for Levi to convince the guards to leave them. The sun that had filtered through the pristine windows was long since set; the dim candlelight provided no ambience on their situation.

Corporal Levi was literally running on fumes, having been awake and on this case for over twenty-four hours straight. He was snappier, if he could be, though eyes demanded focus in screaming silences, brows furrowing and making the sockets shallow and dark and tired looking. He was too tired for this.

Though this made Armin even more uneasy than he already was, all Levi had done so far was ask him questions. Not Eren, the one who had confessed to the crime. Him. They were all protocol, exactly what one would imagine being asked in the incident of assault - where were you at this time, how close are you to the victim, do you have a history of abuse or abusive relationships. On their own, they made Armin squirm, but he was uncomfortable for a different reason.

Armin knew he could not answer. Or, he was not supposed to answer.

"I hate to say I don't trust your words. But I don't. So I'll give you another chance: is that all you have to tell me, or not?"

When Levi only stared back at him, Armin waited out the question, wide blue eyes shifting to the brunette again. Eren sat in the corner, purposely separated from the two, fingers entwined and gripping together as tightly as he held Armin's gaze. They screamed to him, a simple message: _this is not part of the plan_.

None of this was part of the plan. It had all been going so well . . . until Eren had broken his silence, back in the cell. Ever since then, Armin had a terrible feeling that they were, for lack of a better word, screwed. Not only because Eren had messed everything up, not only because the evidence was no longer in their favour, but that Levi seemed to know. He wasn’t questioning Eren, the one who had confessed to the crime. He was questioning Armin. Coupled with that all-knowing glint that kept reflecting in his narrowed gaze, it was clear where Levi stood in the matter.

He _knew_ he was being played.

“I’m losing my patience Arlert.” Levi’s voice took on a new edge, “This will go in your favour if you tell me what I need to know."

"C-corporal Levi sir, I've told you all I know - "

"You've told me all you planned on telling me. But I know by the way you're looking at Jäger that you're holding back." Levi stood, planting both palms flat on the table, "So I suggest you start talking before I have a reason to squeeze what I want to know out of you."

Armin closed his eyes shut tight, feeling his guilt eating at his insides. He didn't say anything.

"Do I need to explain the evidence again? You reported Mikasa's attack at three am, yet somehow you must have seen the body before then and did not bother to tell anyone. The entrances and exits to the gear room were all intact, no tampering with the locks occurred. You did not break in, or out. That means . . . you were there when it happened, weren't you?”

Armin clenched his fists, fighting back his anxiety, sensing Eren’s glare on him still. He did not know how to react; he could not stall any longer, he could not tell another lie, and worse yet he could not possibly admit to Levi exactly what they had been planning -

"Heichou, leave him out of this!" Eren rose from his chair along with the Captain, "It's me who should be - “

“Did I ask you a question?!”

Eren cowered slightly at the Corporal’s demand, but did not back down, “I - I refuse to sit here and watch you do this! I said it was me! I’m the guilty one here, not him! This is all just a big misunderstanding -“

Levi turned and jabbed a threatening finger toward the young man, "Shut up before I _shut_ you up! You're both putting up a very weak bluff and if I hadn't been ordered not to harm any suspects I'd have you stripped and scourged right here for your incompetence! The fact that the evidence is showing your story is flawed should be your first indicator to stop talking shit to me. I would have already pinned the blame on Armin if you hadn’t spoken up, though you really only made this whole situation more complicated than it already is - as well as making me more eager to just get rid of you both. You are not playing hide and seek with your pathetic caretakers from training anymore - you are messing around with the highest levels of the inner government who would love nothing but to lop off your heads if you so much as look at them in the wrong way! The only reason why you're still here is because I'm giving you a chance. There are only two sides to the blade; there is no such thing as a misunderstanding - you are either innocent or guilty. One lets you live, and one lets you die. You better make up your damn mind which one you choose."

Eren's green eyes were wild, begging for an answer. Armin, however, could not think of one. Not now. In the heat of a battle, under the shadow of a Titan, his brain always seemed to devise a way out of the maze trouble lead him in. But they had gotten themselves into a labyrinth of half-truths and false fronts that even Armin could not decipher.

The only way out of the mess would be telling the truth. The whole, entire truth.

At that moment, Armin forced his trembling legs to still as he stood up from his chair. 

He did just that.

* * *

 

_"I can't let you go see her!”_

_Armin grabbed Eren's shoulder, gentle but firm at the same time._

_Eren turned and in one motion tore it off, pushing back against the wrist and shoving the body hard to the floor. It happened so fast._

_Armin caught himself with his hands as he hit the ground, skidding back a bit from the impact. Through bleary eyes he saw Eren’s fire-green gaze staring down on him._

_"Will you quit acting like a pathetic wimp?! Get the hell off me!”_

_Armin realized then. He did not remember. How could he not remember?_

_Armin shook his head, wanting to deny the truth, "Eren, you don't understand - "_

_"Understand what?!”_

_"Mikasa was raped."_

_Eren’s hand froze on the handle of the door._

_"Until we find out who did it . . . we are all suspects. Including you."_

_Armin saw, as his friend turned back toward him, that the brightness in his eyes had faded, dulled like the weakening of a burnt-out candle. His eyes began to blink and flicker, looking about. Confusion crossed his face._

_“What . . . what do you mean . . ?” His voice was distant and dazed._

_Eren placed a hand on his forehead, steadying himself. He gripped the side of the wall fervently, slivering his fingers, but his legs weakened beneath him. He would have nearly collapsed if Armin had not been quick on his feet, grabbing his arm and easing him to the floor slowly._

_Armin knelt beside him and whispered his name, seeing the change happening before his eyes. Eren wasn’t shocked at the words. He was not shocked at all. That was because he already knew what had happened. That was because he remembered._

_Eren raised his trembling hands closer to his face, turning his palms upward and revealing the crimson smears of blood. He paled, breaths scarce and shallow, being flooded with awareness as deep as the ocean. He was drowning._

_Armin felt the tears on his cheeks. He was not sure what to say, but he forced himself to speak. “Eren."_

_“I . . . I d-don’t . . .” Eren’s voice broke, barely a sound then, “. . . what did I do . . .”_

_“. . . you made a mistake.”_

_“Oh God . . . no, no - “_

_Eren dug his hands into his eyes, as if to erase what he had seen and done._

* * *

 

_ Survey Corps HQ - Medical Ward - 23:30 _

Mikasa had come upon the memory in a sudden and inexplicable moment of realization.

 

There was no deep thought involved. No scrutinizing of detail. It was as if it was always there, and she only bent over to retrieve it just then. 

A weight had lifted from her chest, a weight she had been suffocating from ever since she regained consciousness from the attack. As frightened anew as she was, it comforted her in the cruel way memories could.

The room was dark and warm when she sat up from sleep, in a sudden rush of adrenaline filled thoughts. The doctors had given her medicine to assist her to rest; sleep would not come calmly on its own, not for a while yet. Mikasa felt the fuzzy edge of the drug on her mind, but forced herself to coherency. She noticed how her hands gripped her bedsheets, from restless nightmares. One of the nightmares, and the way it lingered, told her of its truth. _Eren_.

Petra, who was assigned vigil aside her bed, blinked out of half-sleep at the movement. “Mikasa?”

She took up the candle sitting on the desk beside her, rising quietly and moving the light toward the young woman in bed. Mikasa turned, meeting eyes with Petra calmly.

“Are you alright, cadet?”

Mikasa looked away. “No.”

“Oh . . .” Petra waited a moment. The sound of footsteps approaching the room was evident in the silence of the night. No sooner did the door open without a knock of warning. It was Corporal Levi.

Mikasa saw his eyes meet hers with the same cruel sense of comfort her memories did. They stole away any remaining doubt in her mind. It was true. _Eren_.

* * *

 

_“Be quiet!”_

_“Let go - Eren, let go of me - “_

_“Shut up!"_

_“Eren - !”_

_The grip wrenched at her throat, twisting with her as she struggled. Every time she moved, it tightened. Spots danced in her eyes, but not enough to pull her into darkness._

_She thrashed, and her head was lifted and thrown against the floor with a hollow thump. Breathe, breathe, breathe, her mind demanded, but there was no way with the hand grasping her face. She tried to bite it, but her lips were in the way. Hot breaths smothered her, suffocating her even more. She screamed from within her trapped throat. It burned like hell._

_There was no one to hear her in the darkness._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! The next chapter will come soon, since the material is almost fully written. I appreciate all who have followed this little story so far! See you soon! 
> 
> \- Ellisaed


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